Welcome to dA.
I couldn't help noticing you have the same reservations about the Reylo ship as I do. Heck...even though I'm writing a Kylo Ren x Reader story, a lot of the concerns you brought up is why even
that story is playing out differently from the normal x Reader and not going into a romance (IF it ever did, it would be redemption
first, romance
second. In that order. Very much so.)
There's still so much territory, both in canon, and out of canon, when it comes to relationships between human beings, to be explored, without having to ship people who are incompatible romantically.